4 Couple Therapy Exercises to Keep the Love Alive

Love is beautiful, but it’s not always easy. You want a romance that stays sparkling forever, someone to share your whole life with. You feel happy when you find one, and you’re afraid to lose it one day. So, you’re gonna make your effort to nurture it, to fix the problems in it, and work together to maintain it. Sometimes, couples therapy led by a professional is one way to do it. 

What’s A Couple Therapy?

Let’s face it, love doesn’t come with a lesson book. It is something both of you should figure out together. When things get hard, a professional help shall come to your rescue. Don’t underestimate the power of couples therapy to strengthen a relationship. Give it a chance, and you’ll be grateful to have done that. 

A couple therapy isn’t just about preventing a breakup or divorce. Any hiccup you’re unsure how to solve, a minor resentment hidden inside your heart, or maybe a repeating pattern of things may accumulate over time and explode later on. If everything goes right, here are some benefits both of you may reap from couples therapy:

• Clearer vision about the future you wanna pursue together (marriage, career building, becoming parents)
• Learning how to express your thoughts and feelings with a more regulated emotion
• Understanding your partner’s point of view and anything they try to say to you
• Less explosive arguments and more level-headed problem-solving
• Feeling more comfortable with each other’s company
• Growing trust, respect, and a sense of safety between each other
• Smoother cooperation in navigating life together

How to Be Effective in Couple Therapy

The more effort you put into the couple therapy, the better your progress will be. It may not take long before you start to feel the improvement in your relationship. Do it right. Follow the tips below.

1. Pick the Right Environment

Therapy thrives in an environment where you feel safe and comfortable. That’s why therapists prepare a special room for the counseling session. However, you will also have some exercise to do together outside of that counseling session. You’re gonna need somewhere quiet yet cozy, so you can comfortably speak to each other and listen well. It can be a park, the beach, or a nice hotel room. 

2. Focus on Empathy First, Not Solution

Have you ever argued so hard about how to solve a problem while thinking that your partner doesn’t even understand your point of view? Understandably, you want the problem to be solved quickly, but at what cost? Also, maybe that person feels the same way, too. During couple therapy sessions, maybe pause your urge to solve the problem. Focus on how to see what your partner feels and thinks first, and then try to make them understand your perspective as well. Problem solving will be much easier later after both of you master your empathy skill. 

3. Repair, Not Just Apologize

Some mistakes leave scars, even after a heartfelt apology. Over time, those will build up resentments, and you’d be wondering why your relationship is drifting apart. On the contrary, when you discuss how to make up for your mistakes, your partner will feel it is safe to stay with you. Respect and trust are restored, probably even stronger than ever.

4. Measure Progress Realistically

Drastic changes are unlikely, and progress isn’t always linear. Things will still go up and down, but it should be possible to notice the subtle signs and reflect on the progress you make as a couple. Arguments may still ensue, but maybe both of you can be less dramatic about it. Also, perhaps you’ll take less time to reconcile. All in all, everything should be less psychologically burdening after a few sessions of the couple therapy.

More article: What is Love Bombing?

Exercises to Do for A Couple Therapy

The couple therapy isn’t just the weekly one-hour counseling with a professional. Most therapists will give the couples some assignments and suggest several exercises to do for a more effective and steady improvement. These exercises can also be done by couples without professional counseling, just as casual bonding activities to keep the love sparkling.

1. Relationship Vision Board

Building a vision board together is the couple therapy exercise most suitable for those with creative and aesthetic minds. Each of you can start by bringing all the things you wanna put on the board as a representation of what you want to have in this relationship.

Discuss everything both of you wish to include in that board. If you want to be a partner for life, then you should be on the same page – or board. 

Best Place to Do This: Capri By Fraser China Square, Singapore

With so many printed photos and hand-drawn notes to work on, you’ll need a spacious room with all-inclusive amenities and a pleasant window view. Capri by Fraser China Square can give you more than that, especially if you book the upgraded room for this couple therapy exercise. 

A kitchenette ensures you can whip up something to nibble between the cutting papers and conversations. When you feel overwhelmed, chilling by the windows or balcony can help you regulate your emotions. After finishing the vision board, maybe take a dip in the tub or get some couple spa treatments to cherish the moment.

Rate: From SGD 110 / 7 hours

Feature(s): swimming pool, gym, club lounge, restaurants, bar, spa, self-service laundry, parking lot, en-suite kitchenette, room balcony

Address: 181 S Bridge Rd, #02-01, Singapore 058743 (Google Map)

2. Active Listening

One of the most-suggested couple therapy exercises, active listening, has been proven effective in reducing tensions and stress in any relationship. In this activity, both of you take turns. When one is speaking, the other one should stay quiet and listen. No interrupting, which means also no eye-rolling, no heavy sigh, or any negative gesture whatsoever.

After one person finishes speaking, the listener should retell what the speaker said, so the speaker can check if the listener truly understands. Repeat this process when the listener still gets it incorrectly. And then, you can switch roles. Listeners should resist the urge to argue when it’s time to retell, because it’s not yet the time for it. Remember, the key is to foster empathy. 

Best Place to Do This: Amara Sanctuary Sentosa

Parks and beaches have a sense of calmness and serenity to reduce tension. Or maybe you want something more private, like a resort-like hotel room. In this case, Amara Sanctuary Sentosa is the most likely candidate to perform this kind of couple therapy exercise.

The elegant room with a Jacuzzi and a private pool will truly help to ease any negative emotion, and so is the pleasant view. After a while, you can step outside to continue your couple therapy exercise in one of the beaches and parks in Sentosa. Still feeling emotionally overwhelmed? Get yourself a spa treatment, and you’d be refreshed.

Rate: From SGD 270 / 6 hours

Feature(s): swimming pool & sun lounge, padel ground, tennis ground, gym, spa, en-suite jacuzzi, buggy service, pet-friendly stay, restaurant, bar

Address: Sentosa Island, 1 Larkhill Rd, Singapore 099394 (Google Map)

3. Gottman Love Map

Dr. John and Julie Gottman are experts in relationship psychology, and their Love Map exercise is a spectacular way for a couple who feel like they don’t understand much about each other. This couple therapy exercise is about asking random questions about each other, so you can get a clearer and more detailed view of your partner’s personality, and vice versa.

Feel free to ask any question, but that also means you need to be ready to answer anything. From “how do you like your breakfast egg” to “What was your childhood trauma” are valid. One may request not to answer hard questions when not ready yet, and the other one may try to respect that.

Best Place to Do This: Mercure Singapore Bugis

The mezzanine-style room at Mercure Singapore Bugis creates a dynamic yet casual atmosphere, and the contemporary interior allows you to chill. This kind of laid-back vibe is what you need to go through all the questions and answers without feeling like an interrogation. When you get bored moving from the sofa downstairs to the bed upstairs, maybe chill at the poolside lounge and get back on your love game. Or even more interestingly, hop through cafes around. Holding hands through Bugis can also relieve some tensions after a few hard questions.

Rate: From SGD 128 / 6 hours

Feature(s): swimming pool & lounge, fitness center, restaurants, bar, meeting venue, ballroom, parking space, wheelchair accessible

Address: 122 Middle Rd, Singapore 188973 (Google Map)

4. Weekly Checkins

One way to measure your progress realistically is by scheduling a routine for checking in. Once a week is ideal, so you can do it on weekends while having a daycation. This exercise helps people to stay invested in their couple therapy program, which reflects their commitment to their relationship.

You start by reviewing what has happened between you two, especially in the current week, and how you feel about it. Don’t list only the negative parts to improve. It is also essential to speak of the good things. Being grateful for your progress, complimenting your partner for anything wonderful – those may attract more great things in the future.

Best Place to Do This: Crowne Plaza Changi Airport

The weekly check-in must be done somewhere nice, because it is all about preserving the burning love. Crowne Plaza Changi Airport might be a great choice. The artistic bathtub by the glass wall means you can dip together in style. Some windows even face the runway – what a unique view!

Changi Airport itself is filled with interesting spots, giving you ideas for more casual dates with your partner. Or, since you’re already there, why don’t you book any flight, and just get an impromptu daycation somewhere nice?

Rate: From SGD 285 / 8 hours

Feature(s): fitness center, swimming pool, garden, event venues, bar, various restaurants, on-site parking, laundry services, airport access

Address: Floor 1 Changi International Airport, 75 Airport Blvd., #01-01, Singapore 819664 (Google Map)

Don’t wait until your relationship is hanging by a thread. Reserve an appointment for couples therapy and learn how to love each other in better ways before reaching the point of no return. And when it is time for some romantic exercise, Flow App will gladly provide the ideal places to do so.

Click Flow App now and book your hourly hotel.

More article: 12 Stress Relief Staycation Ideas in Singapore

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