Butterflies on the stomach, and love is in the air. You will dream of a happy ever after every time you fall in love. It sounds sweet indeed, but don’t be naive. Love alone will not be enough for a healthy long-term relationship.

Every time you fall in love, you may hope for this one to last forever with a bond that strengthens as you age. But it will never happen unless both of you know how to have a healthy relationship, and consistently make the effort for it.

Spare a time for you and your partner to do a little review of your dynamic. See if you have these essential things:

Related articles: What’s your love languages?

1. Open Communication

Ever heard the term “Communication is the key”? It is no exaggeration in a healthy relationship. Open and two-way communication between two people as a couple is crucial for you to understand each other and make decisions that benefit both of you the most. More than just between each other, you might also find it important to maintain healthy communication with both sides of the family.

Signs of Open Communication

Level-headed conversation instead of bickering, cussing, or yelling during an argument
Comfortable in expressing your feelings, even the negative ones, such as disappointment and anger.
Knowing how to deliver criticism or complaints, and not feeling offended when receiving ones.
Feeling it is natural to discuss every aspect of your life with each other

Examples of Bad Communication

Unhealthy communication will make you feel like screaming to a wall. It is exhausting, but you still feel unheard regardless. Here are the red flags you should be aware of:

Both of you have different perspectives on what you deem as overreaction.
More non-substantial yelling and screaming rather than mature conversation during an argument.
Feeling anxious or even scared when wanting to say something.
One party or both are being avoidant in serious talks.

How To Improve Communication in Relationships?

It is not the end of the world when you feel like your dynamic with your partner is not yet on that level of communication openness. Sometimes, a healthy relationship takes time to build. Try these tips to work on that before waving your white flag on your romance.

Make time to text or call your partner’s parents every once in a while to see how they are doing.
Tell your partner that you think both of you need to work on your communication.
Start small, try to talk more often about things you usually feel slightly uncomfortable about, and work your way up from there.
Manage your reactions to things your partner says, so they won’t regret sharing their minds with you.
Spare a time to be with each other sitting down and having a conversation, with no gadget and no other activity.

2. Care and Make Effort

Love is organic, like plants. It blooms when you care for it, but will eventually die when you stop making enough effort. Logically speaking, if you love them, you fight for them. In our culture, only caring for your partner is not enough for a healthy relationship. It would be best if you also cared for each other’s family.

Signs of A Caring Relationship:

Offer each other help when needed before they ask for it
Know even the little things each other likes and give some of that from time to time
Understand the things each of you dislikes and avoid getting your respective partner exposed to that
Be a shoulder for each other to cry on during difficult times
Feeling happy when your partner is happy

What Lack of Caring in A Relationship May Look Like?

Ideally, both people in a healthy relationship should have the same energy to make efforts for each other. An imbalance might cause one party to feel ignored and unloved. Furthermore, watch out for these other signs that may indicate that your partner does not care enough about you:

Ignore you when you have emotions, be it positive or negative.
Refuse or reluctantly help you when they can do so
You have to repeatedly ask them not to do things that discomfort you when it should not be difficult for them to avoid doing them.
Dismissing your emotions when you are expressing them

How to Show More That You Care in A Relationship?

Don’t feel bad when your relationship starts with not much mutual caring. Care usually grows deeper as your relationship progresses. If you want your current romance to last long, both you and your partner can try these tips:

Remember your partner’s family members, a few little things about each of them, and ask your partner how they are doing every once in a while
Listen to what your partner feels enthusiastic about; jobs, hobbies, interests.
Communicate what you wish your partner to do or not.
Offer help when you see your partner busy or feel overwhelmed with something.

3. Respect

There is no way you can have a healthy relationship without mutual respect. Even a loss of respect may shatter the bond between two people. Undoubtedly, respect should also extend to each other’s family.

Signs of Respectful Relationship

Treat your partner’s needs and wants as important as yours.
Encouraging each other for self-improvement
Treat your partner the way you wish to be treated if you were in their shoes.
Consider their suggestions and thoughts about big decisions you need to make, even if you will be the one making the final decision.
Honor each other’s familial tradition and maybe include your partner in it if possible.

Red Flags Indicating Lack or No Respect Between A Couple

Any abusive relationship usually starts with an imbalanced respect given between two people. Equally lacking of respect will also end up toxic for both parties. Here are some examples of things that translates as disrespect:

Keep too many secrets from you under the guise of “this has nothing to do with you” when there is no fair reason for them to do so.
Focus more on their wants and needs over yours as if yours do not matter much.
React negatively without logical reason when you try to do something good for yourself.
Being unsupportive when you try to fulfill your familial obligation or expectation

Tips for Being More Respectful for A Healthy Relationship

Your relationship might not start perfectly, but both of you can work together to improve it. In terms of respect, these are some things both of you can try to do:

Communicate with your partner when you have problems with their family
Imagine you are in your partner’s shoes and try to understand what is it like to be them
Communicate the issues you are feeling, and discuss how to move forward with it
Discuss boundaries and expectations from each other

4. Trust

How could you live your life together as a couple when you are not even trusting each other? The best thing you could possibly accomplish with it is a relationship that looks good on the outside, but empty on the inside. If you can’t build mutual trust as a couple, then you have no chance in getting a healthy relationship out of it.

Signs You Trust Each Other As A Couple:

You don’t need to lock phones around each other but don’t feel the need to snoop in either
You don’t need to keep knowing each other’s whereabouts, but naturally keep telling each other about it for convenience
You don’t instantly make assumptions when finding something confusing, weird, or suspicious
It feels safe to tell each other secrets, knowing they will keep it safe
You are both on the same page about which family members to trust or not

Identifying Trust Issues in A Relationship

Breaking trust can ruin a healthy relationship very quickly. In many circumstances, you can’t even fix a broken trust. Here are the things you might experience in a relationship where trust is non-existent or broken:

One party has cheated or ever planned to do so
Hiding substantial information when the partner has the right to know
Keep feeling suspicious from time to time, regardless of whether there are reasons for it or not
One party reveals information about themselves while the other one refuses to do so

Working on to Improve Trust in Your Relationship

Not having sufficient trust in a relationship doesn’t necessarily mean that your partner is not worthy. Some people may have trust issues due to past trauma or something else. Here are what you and your partner do to make it better:

Get therapy if your past trauma hinders you from trusting your current partner
Ask away anything that you have been wanting to know about your partner
Identify the root cause of why you find it hard to trust your partner and work on that

5. Love and Affection

More than loving each other, a healthy relationship needs constant expression of love from both parties. People may have different ways to express affection, but each one of you should find your ways to do so. Maybe you don’t need to show it in public, as it is uncommon in Malaysia. However, there are surely many ways to show each other.

Signs of Affectionate Relationship:

Understand each other’s love languages and express them accordingly
You feel certain that your partner still loves you
It makes you feel happy when you do show your love and your partner likes it
You truly hope that your love will last to the point you can picture growing old together

When the Love Starts Dying in A Relationship

It is unlikely for love to die in one click, especially if it used to be a healthy relationship. It usually fades gradually over time. Make sure you pay attention, so you can notice it when your romantic sparks start dimming. Therefore, you can fix the situation before it reaches the point of no return. Here are some of the common indicators:

Losing the will to show your love the way you used to
You feel like your partner shows more affection to other people than to you
One party is not showing affection as much as the other party

Doing Better on Love and Affection

Romance goes up and down. It is not yet the time for feeling hopeless. If you act quickly and address the issues accordingly, your love will most likely grow back, probably even stronger than before. Even for a couple with a steady and healthy relationship, maintaining love and affection is essential to keep the sparks alive. Here are some tips:

Show love to your partner’s family (especially parents) in an appropriate way that your partner approves of
Identify each other’s love language
Communicate what your dream love is like

Love grows; it can bloom when well-nurtured and dies eventually when you treat it improperly. Knowing what to do and expect from a healthy relationship allows you to nurture your romance in the right way. Even better, it helps you to notice problems and handle them wisely before they get more dramatic and exhausting.

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